December 20, 2000

Have a SykoGrafix Holiday!

This old article is removed from the main website and is now hidden. But you found it!

Ninjatron is going to talk about the season of giving.

Ho ho ho. The Master of Chaos is going to give you some holiday cheer!

My mom recently dug up something really special out of the Christmas box. I thought it'd be funny to share it with you all.

I think that most of you will agree that in growing up in the Eighties and Early Nineties, there was one thing that really embodied the spirt of the season.

It wasn't toys or presents.

It wasn't cookies or cakes or gingerbread houses.

And it sure wasn't peace and good will and all of that junk.

In fact, it wasn't anything normally associated with Christmas at all.

It was Nintendo.

Hardcore Santa
Folding chair, bombs, crowbar, sledge hammer, barbed wire 2X4... Hardcore Santa brings presents to all of the good little freaks!!! (You don't want to know what the naughty kids get)

If you didn't know by now, Ninjatron loves Nintendo. It's not even video games as a whole so much that it is Nintendo itself that has always ruled over my Christmas. With everything from first discovering video games in the NES days, playing with friends and family, watching parents struggle with the controller while trying to make Mario jump up the stairs, to all of those great SNES must-have games for the holidays like Donkey Kong Country, how can anyone disagree?

And so with that, for the first time ever, I bring to you some vintage 1993 Christmas Nintendo artwork by Little Ninjatron, age 13. I think he has a bright future ahead of him.

Santa Mario, 1993

Everyone: "Awwwww..."

I'm surprised that this is still in such good shape for a piece of paper that's over 7 years old now. It's not a *great* drawing, but it's not bad for a kid who hadn't taken any real lessons at the time. I've probably drawn Mario more times than any other character. Plus, I was (and still am) totally into the whole magical mushroom world that all of the games are famous for. Check out the attention to detail, like the eyes on the bushes and the clouds, the fire works coming from the castle, and the Magic P Wing from SMB 3 making Santa Mario's sleigh fly. Look closer and you'll see a Para Goomba and a Para Troopa wearing little Santa hats, plus Bullet Bill with an elf hat. Even Lakitu, the cloud dwelling Koopa, is dressed in the Christmas Spirt. And jolly old Santa Mario is tossing down boxes of Gameboys and classic Super NES games like Star Fox and Super Mario All Stars.

So, it's a little outdated in that respect, but I know a way I can slightly modify this picture to make it relate better to Christmas of 2000. And here it is..

Santa Mario, 1993

*gasp*! Mario, you can't say that!

Then again, after thinking about how Sony's unimpressive over-hyped under produced sub-standard DVD player / mediocre game machine / toaster oven is not going to make it underneath the tree of so many disappointed little youngsters after Sony had been ringing their Pavlov bell at their loyal dogs for so long, I would tend to agree with the opinion that Sony does, indeed, suck.

After all, let's face it. If the system were called anything other than "Playstation 2", there would not be nearly as much big fuss over it as there has been this Holiday season. That's more like a movie title, and in which case a more appropriate name would be "Playstation 2: The Revenge of Crappy Games". Besides, one day Santa Mario is going to bring us something better any ways.

Blah blah blah Final Fantasy Resident Evil Metal Gear Solid blah blah. Been there, done that. I don't care. I'm a Nintendo mark. I admit it. Nintendo is Christmas. Christmas is Nintendo. Bite me.

(Update: Please keep in mind that this was written before the GameCube came out, and now all 3 of those games are getting GameCube versions. Funny how things end up working out.)

And in the same spirt of mixing Christmas, Nintendo, and violence, I bring you...


Santa Claus in WWF No Mercy!

That's right, with the Create a Superstar and SmackDown Mall features on the greatest North American Wrestling Game of all time, WWF No Mercy for Nintendo 64, you can take Christmas to a whole new level of destruction!

WWF Santa 1
WWF Santa 2
WWF Santa 3
WWF Santa 3
Some may ask why I would even bother creating a non-wrestler in this game. Well, why not? At the very least, it's good for a laugh or two, and with some tweaking, Ol' Saint Nick can become quite the accomplished grappler! Wrestling is entertainment any ways. Besides, there's usually an angle involving someone dressed up as Santa in the WWF every year. Remember when Mick Foley had to defeat 6 Santas in a Boiler Room? And who can forget many years ago when the jolly old elf was on the business end of a Stone Cold Stunner from Steve Austin?

Note that some of these creation items will need to be purchased at the SmackDown Mall shopping area first. If any areas are left out, just leave it as the default setting.

Name: SANTA CLAUS
Short Name: SANTA
Picture: EDIT 11
HEIGHT: 6'0 (or shorter, if you want)
WEIGHT: 534 lbs, or bigger if you want. Should be higher than 400 lbs at least so that he will be more difficult for other wrestlers to throw.
You can choose the Music and Titantron.

Body: Fat 2, first color.
Head: Male 5
Face: Male 87
Hair: Long 1, set Front Hair to None, color it white
Facial Hair: 29
Masks/ect: Eye Glasses
Ring Attire: Jeans 1, change to red and white
Upper Body: Kung Fu (trust me), change to red and white
Gloves: A.P.A., change to green. Or you can use green boxing gloves to simulate mittens.
Feet: Boots 05, keep default for black and change 2nd bar to white to make the trim brighter.
Entrance Attire: Taker Robe, change to red with white trim

For moves, give him whatever you want. I gave him the brutal Russian Neck Drop for the front special and the Spinning Torture Rack for the back Special. It's a good idea to give Santa moves that you would otherwise not assign to other created wrestlers. Also give him the Bow pin as a fallen opponent face up special.

Use these for the regular taunts and make your own choices for the rest.

Taunt 122
Taunt 045
Taunt 087

Now go ahead and have fun kicking Santa's bowl-full-of-jelly butt.

This is Ninjatron, saying have a great Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza, or Atheist-kids-get-presents-day.

Hey, gimmie a break. It's impossible to be politically correct around the holidays any ways. Why bother?

Sayonara.

Tell Ninjatron how much you hate him now at the contact page.

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