March 1, 2004

The Crack of Doom.

Yeah, so Return of the King won it all. Hooray. There’s no doubt that it deserved to win, but it’s nice to see a film that’s higher in concept than most typical Hollywood award-wining fair to take the top honors.

Early today I went to see my doctor about the pain in my wrist, Honestly, I really should have seen a doctor much earlier, but I was hoping that it would go away if I just took it easy for awhile. But it didn’t go away, it just kept getting worse. So I told him about it and showed him where the pain was. He took a look at my other wrist and noticed how different the two look. One bone sticks out a lot more on the right wrist. I never gave it much thought because it’s been like that for as long as I can remember, or at least I think it has, but apparently it’s not supposed to be like that! So, according to him, repetitive stress is most likely part of the equation here, but this pain could actually be the result of a previous injury that I don’t even know about. Something could be cracked in there!

So I went and got some x-rays done. I was told to hold one of those thick x-ray-proof pads over my crotch with my other hand. Hmm, that’s reassuring. I go back to the doctor in a week. Not quite sure what to think about this now. One way of thinking is that it’d be nice if the x-rays didn’t uncover any serious problem, but then again, a serious problem in there might explain everything, and I don’t want to be left out in the dark about this. However, if repairing the problem leaves me without the ability to draw for a long time, I won’t like that. I have bad thoughts about surgery and casts and the like. We’ll see how it turns out.

I think the toughest part about all of this is that the mind is getting sharper. I’ve got ideas, I’ve got goals and I know that I can do great things. There’s things that I want to try and do with my artwork, characters that I’d like to draw, techniques I want to experiment with, and so on. It’s just that it’s all out of my hands right now. Ok, well, it is in my hands, technically, err, one of my hands… arg, you know what I mean!

I’m having some fairly in-depth internal monologues about this whole thing. If I can’t draw anymore, then what else can I do with my life? And I’m seriously considering other possibilities if it comes down to it. Nothing specific, but just coming to grips with the very notion of doing something else. I hope I never have to make that choice, but if worse comes to worse and I do, then I think I’m mentally prepared to do so.



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