This story just keeps getting weirder and weirder!

The floodgates have opened, and the collective I.Q. of the Earth’s population has taken a few dips south! In my last e-mail from “Jake“, he said that he’d never return to my website and that I was no longer worth his time. Well, not only am I worth enough of his time to make yet another insulting post, but he has also rallied up some of his friends and called an entire crusade has been against me! I’ve gotten a whopping eight new posts in my guestbook, with Jake telling me in another e-mail that he is indeed the “mastermind” (as it were) behind this call too arms. Their mission: To insult me into changing my art!

At least, it seems like that was the intention. But I don’t believe that what actually happened was really mapped out on any battle plans, because the result of this attack is just too strange to actually be an insult! This is absolutely hilarious stuff! I’ve never had so much attention lavished upon me all at once, and I’m just not quite sure how to feel about it! Should I respond to each of these posts individually right here and now? Or do I hoard them like glittering little treasures for the time being and use them as raw materials with which to craft another masterpiece?

Ahh, what the hell? For the sake of posterity, I’ll do both!

The first post comes from “Rick James“.

i think those guys that say crap about you are liers. you obviously have some talent… too bad you have to waste it on trivial matter like anime though… try drawing more original stuff, but not any more girls… that kind of makes you look like a perv… draw some more hardcore heroish stuff like awesome swordsmen stabbing people in the neck! that would be freaking awesome!
Wow! Rick James has come back from the dead to visit my website! “I’m Rick James, bitch!” Though I have a hard time believing that he doesn’t want me to draw girls anymore. I mean, you’d think that the guy who sang “Superfreak” would like to look at that kind of stuff! But I’ll certainly will consider the awesome swordsmen suggestion.

Next we have “lenny the leopard“.

alright, i’ll just call you “tron” b/c yur obviously not a ninja. i came to this site to see ninjas! all i found was some freaking weird art… if you want more people to like you and stop claiming you’re gay, then draw some ninjas! and not the wimpy ones that are all emotional, draw some ones beating the crap out of a bunny with numchucks! that would prove indefinitely that you are capable of providing this website with non-homo material
Leopard dude, there are ninjas all over this website! But of course you can’t actually see them. They’re ninjas! Ninjas practice the art of invisibility, and thus can not possibly be seen! I’ll get right to work on that non-homo material, though.

Next up is “pansy“, as non-homo of a name as I’ve ever seen.

are you a REAL ninja? or just a robot? if you’re a real ninja, then why are you drawing anime? aren’t you supposed to kill people with metal? why are you drawing pictures? i am VERY confus-ed. i would appreciate some explanation as I have cancer and only five months left to live. thankyou

PS draw some ponies! MORE PONIES!!
Man, this is just too much! What can I say? Drawing anime and killing people with metal are actually very closely related, when you think about it! How about if I drew ponies getting killed with metal, would that satisfy everyone?

And then comes “alex“.

i think its unfair that people say that you’re gay. people shouldn’t assume things like that or make fun of it. homosexuality is real and it should be embraced. ninjatron, if you want to come out of the closet, i put in a website that will prove useful to you. believe in yourself, ninjatron!
I’ve got nothing to say to this except…


Man, that is some funny stuff!

Oh no! The next entry is by the mysterious warrior called “silent death“! Ooooh! Scary!

i know where your house is. im coming to kill you. your cat will make a nice salad.

PS im a REAL ninja and im offended at your digusting immitations. please discontinue calling yourself a ninja or you will die sooner.

PSS REALLY. Im not kidding.
Heh heh heh! Isn’t that special? More kids playing ninja. Keep up the rough-housing, lad! Please, I don’t have a cat. Being a ninja, my pet is obviously a turtle. Everyone knows that. And if you were really a ninja, then you’d know that there’s supposed to be an apostrophe in between the letters I and m when writing “I’m“. Come on, grasshopper. 10 flips, now!

And now the words of “lame jane“. Hmm, talk about self esteem issues.

have you ever eaten sushi? i hear that real ninjas eat sushi. I like sushi, and would like some drawings of sushi and your comments on them, if you would be sooooo kind. after all, in japanese animation, who doesn’t eat sushi? those funky looking doughnuts are way cool. yeah, so… Please draw my sushi.
Sushi is totally great! I love the kind with grilled eel. I don’t like wasabi though. I’d draw some sushi, but what would be the point if you couldn’t actually eat it? Well, I guess you could try to eat it, but it wouldn’t taste as fresh as real sushi. So forget it.

And then we have “pisser“. Now this is somebody who’s not afraid to talk promote toilet related accomplishments!

who the crap are these people!??! wth are these people trying to get from you?! whoever they are, i think its still cool that people are trying to be this annoying. you should listen. fill requests and maybe these freaks will leave you alone. worth a try aint it?
Heh, a thinnly veiled attempt at not looking like one one of “these people” of which he speaks. You know, maybe I should listen to them. It’s not like I’m doing anything better with my life! Yes, because people who are being annoying are just so cool! Who wouldn’t want to listen to them?

Last, and certainly least, is dirty ol’ Jake.

this is the last time im doing this. you’re art is worthless as it stands. CHANGE IT. STOP DRAWING OTHER PEOPLE’S STUFF. If anyone would like to tell me how much they hate me, they can say it to my face at… come and get it you slappywags!!
Oooh, “slappywags“! Spelled with 2 “p”s this time! He must really mean business now! I am publically recomending that everyone not e-mail him. No need to throw fuel into an already raging inferno of ineptitude. But I’m not going to stop you if you feel you must.

You know, fun is fun, but I take a lot of offense to this accusation. I don’t draw other people’s stuff. I draw my stuff. Even if I’m drawing a character that is already established, like Optimus Prime or Wolverine, for better or worse, I do it my way. And that should be painfully obvious to anyone who has actually taken more than 5 minutes to look around here. It may not always be good, but damn it, it’s still mine! I don’t copy anyone’s art, and if you think I do, Jake, then let’s see some examples of all these other people that I’ve copied from. I guarantee that you won’t find any, because they don’t exist. Furthermore, why do you even care? What stake do you possibly have in the way in which I draw? You don’t. You have nothing. And thus, you mean nothing to me. Nothing but a bunch of laughs because of how ignorant you are. But that’s ok, because that ignorance has amounted to some very funny moments, so I’ll forgive you.

That’s enough. There’s more to this but I really don’t have time to deal with this anymore right now. I’ve got bigger fish to fry. So if Jake or any of his buddies have anything more to say, by all means just go look in the mirror and make fun of yourself or something. Save us all the trouble of doing it for you, and save yourself the embarrassment.



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