September 27, 2005

Not so Jolly After All.

This weekend I did the stupidest thing ever.

While I was doing tome digital painting I was enjoying some hard candies. Jolly Ranchers.

I had already finished a few when I unwrapped a new one and popped it in my mouth. Soon afterward it somehow accidently lodged itself in my throat. There was nowhere for it to go but down.

I swallowed the whole bloody thing.

I figured it wouldn’t be a big deal. It’s just dissolve in my stomach. Nope, no such luck.

It was all jagged and rectangular. It hurt so much!

Now it’s not going away without a fight.

I’ve been feeling all sick and run down ever since. All because of one little candy.

How embarrassing.

So, take my advice. Don’t swallow Jolly Ranchers hard candies straight out of the wrapper. It’s just a bad idea all around.


September 22, 2005

I Hate Poker.

Yeah. Poker sucks.

For the past several weeks my inbox has been overrun with poker related spam. I’ve just been dumped on by this garbage and I’m really sick of it. I can’t ignore it and I can’t block it outright because it all comes though this website. I’ve taken several measures to block spam from being sent to me through the site, but these jerks keep changing the way they do things so some of their spam still slips through the cracks. I know that this must be sent via automated spiders, but I swear it’s as if they are targeting me directly because they seem to stay one step ahead of what I do to try to stop this nonsense. And nonsense is exactly what it is. There’s always some random text that looks as if it’s all been written by 3 year olds! Some of it is unrelated to anything, and some just doesn’t make any sense! Get a load of these examples.

It was opened without loss of time. I will try, sir, but I seem mad. Two men play together.
What the hell is this? I don’t want to read about two men playing together!
Online games are very dangerous to your helth. To prove this you should teach.
Are you kidding me? They’re trying to get me to play online poker by telling me it’s dangerous? Yeah, great marketing, genius.
Its far from clear whether mdma usage lead to refusing to get pleasure from gambling session (PO as an example). Time will come and you will see that joy in your eyes changes to fear and pain.
What the bloody hell does this even mean? Is this supposed to be deep? Because I’m just confused.
Wake up at he morning, eat and so on and go to the work. This is not a proble in the present. Why? Because you can play texas hold’em online
I was always puzzled what “Lanyon” means, is it related to poker somehow?
How in the hell should I know?
Poker is one og the gmabling game. Online leyword doesn’t matter.
Obviously not, stupid guy!
Important legal notices. Europe is not a country, It is kind of meta country, thouse happy peoples could play poker every day and every night.
WHAT??? Europe is not a country or a meta country. It’s a continent! It’s a lot of countries! Jackass.
The start of the huge work. And we already should plan a timeouts for the rest, both physical and mental, for mental one you need some gambling material and texas holdem is a good example.
Oh, so now it’s good for your health? Go to hell!
The magic lantern flickers and smokes, and the twisted face still shimmers on the screen. Bill said, draining four fingers neat of Old Kidney Killer and held his glass out for more.” And I should note, that in any cases, internet poker is very stupid couple to make.
Arrrrrg!!! You are a very stupid couple to make! You are! Now this doesn’t even make any sense either! I’m starting to write like poker spam! Arrrrrrg!!!

Bloody hell to this garbage! I don’t care about poker! I hate poker! Great job trying to get me to play poker, spamming guys. You have failed. You have completely and utterly failed. In fact, not only have you failed in your attempt at making me play your idiotic online poker games, but now I shall forever harbor a deep seeded hatred in my being for poker! I will never play poker. I will never watch poker on TV. So long as I live, I swear, I want nothing to do with poker.

Poker sucks!

There. I feel better now.


September 17, 2005

You Say You Want a Revolution.

Well, I know *I* do.

I’ve often talked about how the video game industry has become stagnant and boring and how the hardcore gaming culture offers me very little. Well it’s looking like Nintendo is, once again, going to try to challenge all that. The controller for the upcoming video game system known as “Revolution“, once shrouded in secrecy, was unveiled at a gaming show in Japan this past week, and it’s got the world buzzing.

Looking more like a DVD remote control than a traditional video game controller, this motion sensitive little number is way different than anything else on the market. Thus it looks like it’s going to introduce brand new ways to play video games, which is exactly what the business needs right now. I, for one, applaud Nintendo for going way outside the box, and for making such an incredibly polarizing move to distinguish themselves from the competition (who both seem content to release pretty much the same stuff they’ve already been giving us).

I’ll tell you this right now though. This controller sure is different and time will tell if different is good or not. But at this point, when it’s this different, it sure is exciting.


September 11, 2005


For some reason, I have found a lot of strange things recently. See for yourself.

Creepy Plastic Simpsons Figures.

Creepy Simpsons

Where did these come from? I don’t know, but these Bart and Maggie figures were just lying around for some reason. They’re fairly small and well made, but something weird happened in the transition from animated characters to 3 Dimensional objects. Look at those freaky-deaky eyes!

Creepy Simpsons
Aye Carumba!



This house is infested with Smurfs! How can this be? Do people really even like Smurfs this much? Why are they here? Furthermore, what are Smurfs supposed to be? Why do they exist? How can they exist? What purpose do they serve in the universe? These are all things I would probably be better off not knowing.

A Rebellious Oreo.

Bizarro Oreo.

Look at that! Can you see? This is an Oreo cookie, one of the greatest inventions in the history of mankind, but something has gone terribly wrong! One side of this cookie is inside out! The chocolate wafter is improperly attached to the cream filling by the textured side that is supposed to be facing outwards, creating a deformed mutation Oreo! What an incredible discovery. Aren’t there supposed to be people who are paid to make sure irregularities such this do not reach the customer? Perhaps this is an anti-establishment Oreo. An anarchist Oreo. An evil clone Oreo. The Bizarro Oreo!

Despite it’s apparent malignance, it tasted the same as any other Oreo. Delicious.

Such an odd string of strange objects. I can only hope that more oddities will appear to challenge my already dubious perceptions of reality.


September 4, 2005

Cyborg Name Generator.

Networked Individual Normally for Justified Assassination, Thorough Repair and Online Nullification

Interesting contrast with the Justified Assassination and the Thorough Repair. Really accurate though. I am indeed a Networked Individual and I have been doing Online Nullification since forever. Just look at all the stupid people I’ve destroyed.