May 5, 2006

I suck? OH NO!

Yesterday I suddenly got a huge backlog of 40 or so e-mails that hadn’t been sent to me on time for some reason, dating as far back to a few weeks ago. I don’t know why this happened, but it’s no big loss. Most of them were spam trying to sell me drugs, porn, and gambling, none of which I am at all interested in. But there were two that originated from my Guestbook that were pretty funny!

First came this charming entry. My, does it not paint such an interesting picture of the person who wrote it?

Why do you keep deleting my comments? Are you scared, you little girl? Do you only make fun of those below you, and are afraid of higher ups (like myself)? Go kill yourself, you moronic 34 year old virgin. Your art sucks too. And until you reply to me, I’m going to keep on doing this.
And next came this. Keep in mind that I only just got the both of these together, so I didn’t even have a chance to respond at the time.
Why do you keep ignoring me? Hahaha. Have you lost your edge? Can’t find any insults for me? WAHAHAHAHA. I laugh at you.
Well, first of all, I want to sincerely apologize (ha ha) for not saying anything about this until now. Obviously, you are upset because you hold my opinion is such high regard! Like I said above, I didn’t see these comments until yesterday. Of course, it doesn’t make much of a difference because you are just a jackass troll looking for attention and I probably wouldn’t have paid you any mind at the time. So if you’ve been coming here to make fun of me just so you could see what I have to say about it, well then I’m sorry but I’m not under any sort of obligation to say or do anything for anyone. But, hey, it’s your lucky day, because here I am looking for something to write about, and there you are being an idiot. Since this is so enlightening to everyone involved, I’ll grant your wish this time.

Now, let’s be honest here. Both of these messages came in completely anonymously. So, what exactly am I suppose to do about it? Get all upset over how somebody I don’t even know who won’t tell me who they are doesn’t like me and won’t tell me why? Oh, boo hoo! Come on now, get real. Unless you are willing to tell me who you are, I really don’t care if you think my artwork sucks or that I’m a little girl or what have you. It means very little to me.

I mean, let’s face it. There is more than one person out there who thinks I suck. Now unless you all tell me who you are, how in the hell am I supposed to know who’s who? My website is set up so that people can leave anonymous feedback if they so choose, which is fine, because should that feedback be a bunch of juvenile insults then I can laugh and ignore it if I so choose. But if you’re going out of your way to make some sort of statement, and only God knows just what the hell you are trying to prove because I sure don’t, could you at least tell me who you are? Put on a name tag or something! You want me to reply so badly, and you taunt me as if I am scared, but you don’t even have the guts to tell me who you are and why you seem to hate me so much!

What are you afraid of? What is the worst that I could possibly do in retaliation if I knew who you were? I’m a busy man. I’m happy to spend the time writing about this in my weblog because, quite frankly, I’m amused by it and I think other people reading this will be entertained by how much of a moron you are. But otherwise I just don’t seem to have the time that you and people like you seem to enjoy spending in your quest to tell me that I suck. I have better things to do than hunt you down and get revenge. I’m not going to destroy your computer with my Internet powers or get the cops to take you away or anything like that. All I would ever do is completely obliterate you in a battle of wits, just like I’ve done to everyone else. You are otherwise completely safe, so stop being such a bloody coward.

As far as deleting your comments goes, I haven’t deleted anything. It doesn’t work like that. If I don’t want you comments to be there, then they just won’t be there! No deletion necessary because they wouldn’t be there to delete in the first place. Now look, you ask me why I keep deleting *your* comments, but because you don’t leave a proper name and e-mail address, I don’t know who you are, and so I don’t know what comments you are talking about! Don’t be so bloody arrogant to think that you are the only wanker out there who hates me! I have no problem with comments from people who don’t like me. That’s fine. Most of them are funny. But you, coming back again and again (to a website you run by a guy who claim to not even like, no less) just to see if you have made your mark, that’s not funny. That’s pretty sad.

Ah, on second thought, it’s still pretty funny. But I’m twisted like that.

Next, I know that your e-mail address isn’t really like you entered. I know this because, well, that’s my e-mail address now! I just opened up that account, and I’ve got a great idea for what we can do with it. You can just go right ahead and pick whichever of your real, valid, working e-mail addresses that you may happen to be in possession of, and you send whatever spiteful nonsense that happens to tickle your fancy at the moment right on over to I can’t possibly make it any easier than that. Oh, wait, yes I can. I’ll write that link again.! There. Just click that link and let ‘er rip! But, please, while you are telling me how much my artwork sucks and how I’m 34 years old and how I’m a girl or whatever other garbage you have to say, you could at least afford me a little bit of context to work within and tell me who you are, why you hate me so much, and what exactly you hope to accomplish my telling me this. I really want to know, so that this information may enrich my life!

I’m not going to listen to, respond to, or acknowledge anything hateful you or anyone else has to say right now unless it is sent to So stay off the guestbook and the contact form and everything else, because you don’t need it anymore. You said that you would keep attacking me until I replied. Well, now I have replied, and everyone has read this and everyone knows how pathetic you are for saying that. I seriously, seriously doubt that you have what it takes to make a difference. I seriously doubt that there is anything you could possibly say that would make me realize what you think is true or change my mind about anything in any way, shape, or form. But I invite you to try and prove me wrong through Remember, that’s! Just click on it and let’s talk about this! It’s so convenient, you have no excuse not to do it!

Oh, and by the way… umm… let’s see here… you’re a dumb piece of crap and your mother is a ho. There, that should motivate you!! I’ll be waiting!



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