September 2, 2009

Return of the Stupid Samurai!

I couldn’t believe it, but it’s true. This weekend I got an e-mail from a familiar old enemy. Yes, the disgruntled former student who originally was identified only as “samurai_blade_60“, but has since come to be known the world over as the Stupid Samurai, has made a new appearance with a completely unprovoked and irrational attack. This website has been largely inactive for a long time and it’s been ages since I last got a hate mail. I never would have guessed at this time that I’d get a repeat customer out of the blue like this!

The Stupid Samurai was made famous by a little article I wrote 6 years ago called “Stupid People HATE Ninjatron“, where I publicly responded to some of the hate mail I had gotten at the time. As a refresher, here is that original text from years ago, presented again in a completely unedited form.

i dont really your art you rely to much on style pluse you think your japanese but your not first of all its good you shaved your head bald but you think that makes you a monk. any if you taught more about the anime structure then every one would be good at it. but you think oh they’ll learn how to draw anime the first class. then you tell us yo draw chibi’s thats cool and all but how the heck do you draw a chibi in perspective and you should teach the class how to draw male and female anime character but comic book masters only focus’s on male. and last but not least teach hte class how to draw muscles.PS: your the GAIJIN!!!!

Wow, it blows my mind trying to read that even today.

The point seems to be that he took my how to draw anime classes at the now defunct Comic Book Masters drawing school and did not enjoy the experience. Now, based on the utter incoherency of this text and complete disregard for spelling and grammar, it was pretty clear at the time that this Samurai was, shall we say, a little slow. Fair enough. But taking 6 years to respond? That’s something else!

But, perhaps that was a good thing. Perhaps in the past 6 years, the Stupid Samurai had taken the time to examine himself, to become more educated and articulate, and to gain a more mature mind set. Here is a small sample of what he had to say to me in a recent correspondence. Once again, this is completely unedited. You be the judge.

You may remember me sending you a message a few years back, one in which you attached a faggy ass picture titled stupid samurai. If you don’t remember to bad because you were the joke of the year at comic book masters back then. I guess it’s childish to insult you once more, but what the hell your face annoys me. Stop trying to be asian, seriously I can not stress this enough, The asian community is pretty close to slicing off you egg rolls with a samurai sword. The bandana has got to go you like ***** Axel rose!

Hmm, it’s a little easier to read, so I’ll give him that much. But in these past 6 years, he has clearly become a very angry youth! He even admits that it’s childish to insult me, and then litters the entire message with vile, disgusting, childish insults, completely baseless and without any point behind them. And he apparently speaks for the entire Asian community as well, though I am sure that the Asian community would much prefer to be referred to with a capital A in Asian, seeing as it’s a continent and all. Not sure what Axel Rose has to do with any of this, but I’m pretty sure he’s not Asian so I’m confused as to the direction of where this is all going.

I’m not going to post it all here, but basically everything he’s sent me thus far is nothing but insults. The jist of it being that I’m a bad artist, a bad teacher, that I want to be Asian, and that these things must mean that I’m gay, apparently. News to me on those last two, but whatever. All this anger is based on things that happened more than 6 years ago, and I have not had any contact with him since. Pretty sad, really. I’m sure he thinks he has an actual point, but he hasn’t expressed it to me as of yet. So I am left to wonder just what brought on this unprovoked attack and just what is he trying to accomplish with it?

Anyway, he closes by saying not to bother responding to the e-mail because the address he used is fake, and I should do it on my website should I chose to respond, but that he doubts I will. Well, how’s that for courage! Yet another in the legions of morons who act like tough guys on the Internet but can’t be bothered to stand behind their words with a proper e-mail address. Well, I’m used to that. Besides, as if I would ever ignore a new message from one of my favorite flamers ever!

So, presented here to all is my official response to The Stupid Samurai.

Dear Stupid Samurai.

Below is my official response to your comments from this past weekend.

Bite me.



Short, simple, clear, and concise.

That’s all I really need to say to him right now. I’ve got no interest in defending myself against baseless insults made by someone like this. If he doesn’t like my artwork or teaching, then that’s fine. Chances are that he hasn’t seen anything I’ve done in the past 6 years, so whatever. It’s his opinion, and he’s entitled to it. It’s a subjective opinion, so it doesn’t bother me. Since he presents his opinion in a crude, crass, ill informed and insulting way, my opinion is that he’s an idiot. But my opinion is not subjective, because it is a fact that his usage of spelling and grammar is pathetic. If he were not an idiot, he’d have at least attempted to spell properly and would have proved his point so without resorting to childish insults. And so, based on the materials that he himself provided to me, I have no choice but to form the opinion that his opinion is garbage.

But wait, there’s more!

It seems our little Samurai is not content to just send his insults though e-mail. Not only has he also taken the fight to my guestbook, but he’s got his sights set on my message board as well! The message board hasn’t gotten a new post in over a year now, but that hasn’t stopped the Samurai from registering for an account. He’s actually using the game “Stupid samurai”, which amuses me greatly. Well, he’s attempting to, anyway. You see, in order to register for a message board, you must first have a valid, working e-mail address. The Stupid one has certainly lived up to his name by trying to sign up using the same e-mail address he said was fake. Silly Samurai, everyone knows you need a real e-mail to use a message board! You fail at Internet!

However, even though I might be asking for trouble, I fully encourage Stupid Samurai, all of his like-minded friends, and anyone else who has a problem with me, to sign up for the message board so that we may have a conversation about how terrible I really am. In fact, I have taken the liberty of creating a brand new forum: The Anti-Ninjatron Clan! This is a forum especially for insulting me. This way, you can say what you like, I’ll have a chance to respond, and everyone can enjoy the proceedings. Anything goes in there! Who knows, maybe I’ll agree with you! Just be aware, the first post of the Anti-Ninjatron Clan is mine, and anyone else who posts there will have to top it if they even think they’ve got a chance at defeating me!

So there you have it, Samurai. This lowly Ninja has given you the perfect opportunity to attack me head on. Samurai code, no matter how stupid you may be, demands that you answer this challenge.

See you on the battlefield!



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